I'll never understand the mind of the flag football player which is why I just do the rankings...
1) Saints - This was the week the Saints announced their presence with authority. Thumped Blend and followed that up by dominating the Wildcats. Too bad titles are not won in week 5. Get a resurgent Raiders this week.
2) Chargers - Made the O's their bitch and made them cry uncle. For punishment Charlie made Tony videotape the Miami - Team USA game. Get Mother's Day started early with a bye.
3) Warriors - handled the Tide and then had their most average player troll the fuck out of his former team. As a reward he gets to wear a nice pair of girlie underwear from Bruce Jenner's closet during his bye week.
4) Team Hill - Enjoyed the week off to thank their lucky stars how lucky they are to have living legend and team savior Todfeec Hill on the Squad. Gets to carry the team again against the Panthers and the Giants this week.
5) Giants - Rich Wright spent his bye week working out at the gym and scouting every team in the league at the same time. That is quite a regimen. For his trouble his team gets Money Team and a shot at redemption against the only team to beat them last Fall.
6) Raiders - Pulled off an upset against Blend and are now on a three game win streak. This team is so deep they have one of the greatest league QB's in history as a BACKUP in Omar Kingwood (up to no good). We will see how good this version of the Raiders is against the Saints this week.
7) Old Dogs - Walk on water, build nuclear weapons, get me naked pictures of Bea Arthur. These are things that Kevin Daly CAN'T do. Otherwise he has the Old Dogs playing lights out. Will need some magic against the Tide this week.
8) Falcons - picked up another win against a very game Panthers team. Easy to see why Justin was late again when he is posting status updates from Asbury Park at 3AM. If the Falcons want to take the next step they will need their QB to be at the games ON TIME. Play the Wildcats at 11. Maybe they should tell Justin the game starts at 10:30.
9) Wildcats - A week after knocking off the Chargers from the perch of unbeaten the Wildcats had to face the Saints in the return of Amir Duncan. No bueno. During the game against the SAINTS there was an exchange between Joseph Midura spewing more Charger hate and Charles Klose. Let it go! The get the Falcons on Sunday.
10) Titans - after starting the season 0-2 the Titans have seemingly picked up the pace. Doesn't hurt to have Tony Abate jump on the squad either. Looking for the Titans' fortunes to pick now that they have turned things around. Look to keep it going against the Seahawks.
11) Blend - Facts are facts and Blend lost both games on Sunday. I honestly believe this is the strongest team they have ever produced, but with great power comes great expectations and a greater schedule. Don't believe me, they get the Giants this week.
12) Crimson Tide - Not a good couple of weeks for the Tide. The last two weeks has seen losses in Mercer against Money Team and now the Warriors while the Burlington version took their lumps this week as well. For their trouble they get to take on the Old Dogs.
13) Rock Nation - What is with these guys? They act like a bunch of roided up turds either on the board or on the field. They get to troll people, but god forbid you say ANYTHING that can be construed as disrespectful and they get all Aaron Hernandez on HGH on you. Whatever. They get perennial big mouth John Feldhouse this week. Can't wait to see how this goes...
14) Tilted Kilt Overachievers (TKO) - Got TKO'd by the Chargers to the tune of a 33 point ass kicking. Over the last three weeks the O has been silent as they have averaged two touchdowns a game. The get to solve some of their woes against McM this week.
15) Miami - managed to hold on against Team USA for their second consecutive win. The defense seems to be the strength of the team as Miami has kept the game scores low enough for the offense to squeak these things out. Get to test their mettle against the Hernandez family this week.
16) Bulldogs - after their two touchdown loss against Dynasty the Bulldogs have taken a bite out of their last two opponents. They are feeling quite confident as Ralph Heninger now gets to take Big Mac on a victory stroll instead of his loser's lap. Play the Silverbacks on Sunday.
17) Team USA - Have now lost their last two games against one good team and Miami. The shine has come off a bit as Team USA struggles for points and legitimacy. Get to find their way against the U.
18) Panthers - found a way to lose against the Falcons even though their opponent started without their QB. Unfortunate for the Panther that they find themselves in possibly the toughest division in the league.
19) Beefcake - got back to the win column with by thumping McM but also allowing them to score their first touchdown of the year. A win is a win and they are not giving that win back. Get a layup this week against the PL Vikings. Pickup Basketball is a lot more fun after a win?
20) Dynasty - Da'Nasty put up lots of crooked numbers against the Silverbacks this week. Seems it will be a long season for these guys, but honestly with the conference they play in anything is possible. Get an athletic Horned Frogs looking for a win on Sunday.
21) Lions - These guys used their bye week wisely as the Lions put down and held down a flightless Seahawks team. Prams is the type of guy that can fly high if he gets hot. They might find the right temperature against the Spartans this week.
22) Spartans - speak of the devil. Rule number infinity. When you're losing just stay quiet. Rule number infinity plus one: If you intend to talk shit be able to back it up. Things started roses for the Spartans, but have recently hiccuped against stiffer competition. The Lions look to keep them down another week.
23) The U - This team is all over the place. May have the fastest QB in the league, but believe me when I tell you the ball travels faster when you throw it. Enough physics the U need a win and look to do so against Team USA.
24) Goats- thank you for changing your name. My understanding is that the name means the Gooniest of All Time just to piss off Kareem "and sugar" Haggar. If that doesn't work nothing will. Got a win against the Penis Licking Vikings on Sunday and look for two-in-a-row against Lee Crate Accounting.
25) Horned Frogs - What is a month? The time elapsed since the Horned Frogs beat the Lions. Prospects are not looking good for the NKOTB. Get a manageable game against Da'Nasty on Sunday.
26) Silverbacks - caught one on the chin against Dynasty yesterday. Keep plugging away as they face a challenging Bulldogs on Sunday.
27) Lee Crate Accounting - Glad Bob found corporate sponsorship. Least this way they get to be bad for free. Will play the Gooniest of All Time this week
28) Seahawks - Geez Louise. Not what ANYONE was expecting for the Seahawks. I'm starting to see teams scavenge for the good pieces of this team since together they are incapable of climbing out of a wet paper bag. Titans will be the next team to beat up on the Hawks.
29) PL Vikings - I know when Adam started this team he was not expecting to get lumped up like this. I love their fight though. Look to turn it around against Word Wardie and the crew this weekend.
30) MCM - Found the end zone this week to avoid the ignominy of being shutout for four consecutive weeks. Get to play an O's team that desperately needs a win.